Parents Of Non Athletic Kids Have Heaps Of Free Time On Weekends

fat kids
Milperra parents Jason and Katrina Storch are rejoicing at all the spare time they have on weekends due to the lazy nature of their three dumpy kids Rebecca, Mitchell and Hilary.

“All the other parents we know spend countless hours ferrying their energetic children from soccer fields to swimming pools to softball pitches every Saturday and Sunday,” said Jason as he relaxed in a hammock in his backyard.

“Luckily for us, our kids haven’t shown the slightest bit of interest in taking up sport and the only thing that gets transported around this place on the weekends is nachos from the microwave to the lounge room.”

“Thanks to our pudgy rugrats, I’ve been able to sleep in every Saturday morning till eleven rather than freeze my arse off on the sideline pretending to get excited about games of Auskick,” said Katrina as she put her feet up on the back patio and tackled the crossword puzzle from the Weekend Herald. “We gave Rebecca a hockey stick once and she crafted it into a tasting board.”

Having taken note of the Storch family’s stress-free lifestyle, other parents in the suburb have tried to discourage their own children from taking up physical activity.

“I haven’t had time to scratch myself in between taking my son Nathan to judo, archery and lacrosse,” said next door neighbour Beth Sandshoe. “I keep telling him how comfy the sofa is to loaf around on but he never seems to get the hint.”

Peter Green

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