The World Health Organisation (WHO) has released a new report today warning that consumption of the ‘super-food’ kale over a period of time can lead consumers to have heightened levels of arrogance.
The study was conducted in several cafes in Sydney’s beach-side suburb of Bondi and also its inner-city suburb of Newton where kale consumption is almost at epidemic levels.
A spokesperson for the WHO told The (un)Australian: “These findings though alarming are not surprising, I mean we’ve all been at a dinner party and had to endure the whining of a vegetarian or worse a vegan, talking about how superior they are to us carnivores.
“Until recently they merely whined, now with the introduction of kale and to a lesser extent quinoa their whining is now more boastful and confrontational.”
Minister for Agriculture Barnaby Joyce is currently considering legislation to confront the kale epidemic and has not ruled out making the consumption of red meat compulsory for all Australians.
Upon hearing of the news of compulsory red meat consumption, a number of petitions appeared on the website www.change.org calling for kale to replace the Australian flag.