Coogee Beach has disappeared from the coastline of Sydney and is heading towards the UK to do a bit of backpacking.
“I’m going to drink a lot of beer, do a Contiki tour and land a job as a ‘stop and go’ sign guy,” said the 400 metre wide beach as it began its overseas adventure by hitching a ride on a king tide. “I’m going to wash up on Brighton Beach and then find a room to crash in with seventeen other beaches.”
Several other Sydney beaches have also headed overseas to try and enjoy the northern hemisphere summer and avoid the quiet winter months where they are used only by couples taking romantic walks and old guys in beanies with metal detectors.
“I’m going to Bali to find myself and get my seaweed braided,” said Collaroy Beach as it boarded a Tiger Airlines flight to Denpasar. “If that goes well you might see me in Thailand for one of those full moon parties where I can get really high on the tides.”
“This is so much better than hanging out on the northern beaches,” said Narrabeen Beach of its gap year job at a summer camp in California. “I’m getting laid on by movie stars and mainly being used by muscle men throwing beach bunnies into the air and catching them in big towels. Best of all I don’t have to worry about Tony Abbott running all over me dressed in his little red speedos.”