Relatives of the world’s last living adult Frank Barnstaple have confirmed that the 93 year old grown up has passed away, leaving the residents of the world frightened and bewildered.
“When I was a kid there were adults everywhere making sure the world ran smoothly,” said terrified Gwawley Bay app designer Felicity Coughlan. “Who’s going to organise for all the food to get to the supermarkets, stop us having wars with each other and fix all the leaky taps? Certainly not my generation.”
Barnstaple, known for wearing a suit unironically, was found slumped down at the kitchen table in the middle of filling out some important looking forms with a serious looking newspaper by his side.
“Adults basically ran the world up until about 1980,” said historical blogger Pete Kristopherson. “They can often be seen in grainy old black and white photos standing in front a half completed dam or something wearing a hard hat and holding plans in their hands. They would be pointing at something and the all the people around them would be listening to what they had to say.”
“It’s a mystery why all the adults started dying out and not being replaced,” said medical diagnostic robot Dr Jane Summons. “It appears to be some kind of virus targeting the DNA sequence that codes for informed decision making and knowing not to eat too many lollies.”
Frank Barnstaple’s funeral will be handled by some kind of burying people facilitator who hopefully knows how to arrange for a hole to be dug and locate an organ player.
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