News Corp Columnists Ask To Be Left In Peace To Rationalise Why Finsbury Park Attack Was Different

Opinion writers for News Corp have asked for their privacy to be respected as they come to terms with why the terror attack on a London mosque is different.

“In a few days time we’ll come thundering back with why this is all the fault of softcock lefties and climate change alarmists but for now we just need to gather together as a community and deal with our grief,” commented Daily Telegraph contributor Herman Frothymouth. “But the world needs to know we won’t be bowed by anyone trying to disrupt our narrative. One thing we won’t be doing is desperately scanning the Old Testament for passages that may infer that the Christian God likes violence or anything.”

“In a day or two I might be ready to draw a terrorist who isn’t a wild eyed, hook nosed Arab type wearing a belt with a bomb on it that has an old style alarm clock as a timer,” said distraught cartoonist Reg Graphite. “We’re being buoyed by messages of encouragement from Bernie Sanders supporters who’ve recently had to deal with a similar rationalisation process following the baseball game shooting in Washington.”

“Right now all these opinion writers will be going through the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance,” commented psychologist Geraldine Couch. “Anger at finding out this wasn’t the work of ISIS, denial that this has anything to do with their creation of a climate of division in the community, bargaining for the first opportunity to write a piece explaining why this is totally different, depression at having to look at themselves in the mirror first thing in the morning and acceptance that people are always going to smile condescendingly to them at parties when they find out what they do for a living.”

Peter Green

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1 reply

  1. i want to know what fucking religion he was… that we will never hear from anyone….


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