Prime Minister (as at the time of writing this article) Scott Morrison has taken time out of the ASEAN conference to deal with the domestic crisis of onions in Bunnings sausages by appointing former Prime Minister Tony Abbott as Special envoy to Bunnings.
“This is clearly an important issue to the people of Australia, we need to sort out how a sausage should be delivered,” said Prime Minister Morrison. “So who better to deal with onions and sausages than Tony Abbott.”
“In Tony I couldn’t find a more fair dinkum bonza Aussie bloke who knows his way around a barbecue. Tone’ll fix this mess or create an even bigger one”
When reached for comment on his new role Mr Abbott said: “I am chomping at the bit to tuck into this role. I know most Australian’s will agree with me that a sausage sizzle isn’t a sausage sizzle without the onions.”
“Maybe that is the solution we just remove the sausage and the bread and the barbecue and we just have charity onions. I’d pay good money for that.”
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