Scott Morrison’s Liberal Government has held an emergency meeting overnight to change the constitution of the party to ensure that no sitting Craig Kelly is ever unseated in a pre-selection battle.
“We’ve listened to the people and by people I mean the chaps on Sky News after dark and we’ve heard loud and clear that the people want Craig Kelly in parliament,” said Prime Minister Morrison. “Besides if he didn’t have parliament to go to he’d be on Sky News 24/7 and I don’t think anyone wants that do they?”
“Well maybe Andrew Bolt does but that’s besides the point.”
When asked why his Government put so much stock into the opinions of Sky News after dark the Prime Minister replied: “Sky News is a great avenue for us as a Government to get our message across to their 10’s of viewers.”
“It’s either Sky News or appearing on the ABC where their presenters dare to ask us questions that aren’t on the script.”
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