Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has called all Banking and Finance bosses to Canberra so that he can flog then with the warmest of lettuce, following the release of the Royal Commission into Banking’s report.
“We’ve read the report and we will take action,” said the Treasurer. “I’ve sent the Leader of the House Christopher Pyne out to Coles to get as many lettuces as his little hands can carry.”
“When it comes to wielding the lettuce the Coalition will always flog harder than Bill Shorten’s Labor party.”
When asked whether he felt that flogging with warm lettuce was an apt punishment the Treasurer replied: “I could think of nothing more appropriate than a flogging with warm lettuce.”
“I mean we can’t be too severe with the banks otherwise we risk not getting any donations from them for our upcoming re-election campaign.”