The Chinese Government has announced that it is applying a new ‘no dickheads’ policy when it comes to politicians from other countries visiting on ‘study trips.’
“We were concerned with the rising number of politicians wishing to visit our country on what they call ‘study trips’ so we got in a consultant a Mr Paul Roos to look over our current policy and he came up with the ‘no dickheads’ idea,” said a Chinese Government Spokesperson. “Mr Roos showed us how it had worked in the past at the Sydney swans.”
“Being Chinese we are big AFL fans, tickets to the annual Port Adelaide game over here are almost as hard to find as the actual ground itself.”
When asked why all of a sudden the crackdown on visiting politicians the Spokesperson said: “Have you seen the two clowns who want to visit?”
“One of them looks like the evil kid from Harry Potter, we can’t have him walking around terrifying our children with his tales of democracy and the free press.”
“When it comes to politicians visiting China we want visits from the best politicians that money can buy.”
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.
If only this policy breakthrough had been announced a few decades earlier, history would record that only Kissinger was unable to go to China.