Bolt Happy That His Viewers, All 6 Of Them Turned Up To His Australia Day BBQ

Low rating TV host Andrew Bolt has boasted of the turn out for his Australia Day BBQ, after all 6 of his viewers turned up.

”It was a great day full of vigorous discussion, a little merlot and a lot of gourmet sausage,” said Bolt. ”Can you believe that 6 people turned up, I’m ecstatic.”

”Heck, even my wife had made alternate plans for the day.”

When asked why he was happy hosting a show with such appallingly low viewer numbers, Bolt said: ”My numbers are very high compared to other Sky News shows. Why, I have 3 times the viewers of Paul Murray and as for Rita Panahi, well.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must head off to Dan Murphy’s and restock my cellar, those naughty viewers really made a dent in it.”

Mark Williamson


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