Low rating news channel Sky news Australia has called upon low polling Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton to listen to them and follow their agenda if he wants to become PM.
”No one has their finger pressed as firmly to the pulse as Sky news Australia,” said the Station’s leading race commentator Andrew Bolt. ”Yes, admittedly that pulse is Rupert Murdoch’s, but we all know he knows what’s best for Australia.”
”Rupert is such a lovely chap, why when he says jump and someone says in which direction we always laugh when he bellows to the right of course.”
When asked given the stations diabolically low ratings how they honestly expect to influence an election, Andrew Bolt said: ”Our ratings are not low, why just last week I came within 10 viewers of out rating Peppa Pig.”
”Admittedly it was not one of Peppa’s best episodes but still I was close.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and ring my family to give them a daily reminder to please watch my show tonight. They’re my core audience you know.”
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