Abbott Demands That Albo Demote King Charles To A Knight

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Tony Abbott has called upon current PM, Albo, to demote King Charles down to a Knight ahead of the King’s coronation on the weekend.

”Australia owes a great deal to the Monarchy, one could even suggest that we should be giving them a voice to parliament,” said Mr Rabbit. ”So, I think Mr Albanese needs to do what’s right and show the new King what Australia really thinks of him by bestowing a knighthood upon him.”

”It’s the very least we could do.”

When asked why he is so in favour of the Monarchy whilst at the same time speaking out against an indigenous voice to parliament, the former Minister for Women (yep, really) said: ”Well, we need to look at this Nation’s history.”

”The Queen, Captain Cook, dare I say it, Ian Botham, all gave so much for us and we need to acknowledge that.”

”I do want the aboriginal people to rise but, uh, not at the expense of the white people.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I heard somebody down the street saying yes, I need to go and talk to them about the merits of saying no.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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