Low polling Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn over the weekend that politics is in fact a popularity contest.
”Peter thought the object of the game was to appeal to Sky News after dark, he was shocked to learn that they weren’t in fact the majority,” said a Liberal party Insider. ”You should have seen his face when he saw their actual ratings numbers.”
”Then when that tiny group of neo-nazis had their little anti-immigration rally in Melbourne, well old mate Dutton was completely stunned that his dog whistling was off pitch.”
When asked why the Opposition leader sought to divide the Nation rather than unite it, the Liberal party Insider said: ”Well, that’s all Pete knows really.”
”You’ve seen when the dude tries to smile, trying to be positive might be a step too far.”
”Oh well, if Dutts fails the next contenders are either Susssan or Angus and whilst neither will ever be PM they will provide us with an hilarious trainwreck.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.
We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz
The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:
Categories: Politics
Engadine Maccas Tells ScoMo That Hiring Him Would Be A Reputational Risk 
Dutton Asks Shooter To Draw Up A Spreadsheet Of Labor Seats To Place A Nuclear Reactor 
Angus Asks Colleagues If He Can Borrow Their Hands To Help Him Work On His Numbers 
BREAKING: Leaked Copy Of Dutton’s Budget Reply Speech 
The (un)Australian 
Leave a Reply