Dutton Shocked To Learn That Politics Is In Fact A Popularity Contest

Low polling Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn over the weekend that politics is in fact a popularity contest.

”Peter thought the object of the game was to appeal to Sky News after dark, he was shocked to learn that they weren’t in fact the majority,” said a Liberal party Insider. ”You should have seen his face when he saw their actual ratings numbers.”

”Then when that tiny group of neo-nazis had their little anti-immigration rally in Melbourne, well old mate Dutton was completely stunned that his dog whistling was off pitch.”

When asked why the Opposition leader sought to divide the Nation rather than unite it, the Liberal party Insider said: ”Well, that’s all Pete knows really.”

”You’ve seen when the dude tries to smile, trying to be positive might be a step too far.”

”Oh well, if Dutts fails the next contenders are either Susssan or Angus and whilst neither will ever be PM they will provide us with an hilarious trainwreck.”

Mark Williamson


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