Man On Stress Leave After Trying To Choose A Beer At His Local Bottle-O

Ryde man Ian Decisive has taken stress leave this week after a Saturday afternoon trip to his local bottle-o to pick up a 6 pack left him broken down and emotional, after wall after wall of obscure beer types greeted the 34 year old IT worker.

”It used to be you walked in and picked up what was on special,” said Ian Decisive. ”You know, Toohey’s New, VB or if you were low on funds Hahn Ice.”

”But now, everything’s on special and for the love of good how many freakin’ types of beers are there? IPA’s, sour beers, dark beers, watermelon beers, heck one was even an after dinner mint type of beer, oh dear God just help me pick a beer to take to my mates place. Please help me.”

Bottle shops have reported a rise in customers experiencing full blown breakdowns in their stores.

”We used to be the ones that helped avoid breakdowns, now we’re causing them,” said an Industry Spokesperson. ”It seems every man and his ethically sourced dog has started brewing their own beer and don’t get me started on how many types of gin there are these days.”

”I think it’s time for the Government to step in and regulate the brewing industry.”

”Albo is a man who knows his way around a craft brewery surely he can head up a royal commission or some sort of brewery buy back scheme.”

If you are struggling with indecisiveness do seek help. But just not at your local Dan Murphy’s or Bunnings.

Mark Williamson


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