Coaches in the National Chess League are concerned that the introduction of laws designed to protect chess players from concussion are open to abuse and may signal the end of chess as we know it.

“Heavy knocks to the head are part and parcel of chess as a sport”, said Bankstown Bishop’s coach Tommy Crocker, speaking after his star rook mover Glenn Hayden was removed from yesterday’s game after the 37th move because of a heavy head clash with Chullora Checkmate’s pawn mover Dale Flannigan. “I’m concerned we may see players deliberately targeting the head of opponents, especially during king’s gambit declined openings.”

“Modern day chess players are a bunch of softcocks”, declared former Polish grandmaster Stanislaw Boniek. “I often got smacked in the scone and can’t remember half the games I played, which is why chess players should always write down their moves.”

The new concussion rules were introduced to stop the flow of juniors away from chess, as more and more parents enrol their children to play in sports with less body contact such as ludo and draughts.

Peter Green
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Categories: Sport