The Australian Open tennis tournament has been scandalised after a former player revealed that many high profile tantrums have been fixed by gangsters. “It’s an open secret that certain players will bung on a dummy spit to take advantage of… Read More ›
Sport
Nation Beginning To Think That Michael Clarke Might Be A Bit Of A Tool
Australian’s have woken up today with the nagging thought in their heads that former Australian Cricket Captain Michael Clarke might be a bit of a tool. ”Yeah, dude could bat, but getting in a fight with Karl from the Today… Read More ›
Australia To Hold Plebiscite To Determine If Kyrgios Is Still A Tool
Australian Parliament has announced they plan to conduct a nation-wide plebiscite to determine whether tennis player Nick Kyrgios is still considered a tool. It comes in the wake of the long-time bad boy of Australian Tennis having seemingly turned his… Read More ›
“No-one Is Forcing Us To Watch Cricket” Australians Suddenly Realise
After 140 years of obsessively watching every second of the cricket, the Australian population has suddenly worked out that no-one is holding a gun to their head to make them do it and they could actually be doing something much… Read More ›
ScoMo Thanks Macron For The Text But Asks What’s The Photo Of?
Former Australian Minister for innovation/health/treasury/energy and part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison, has thanked French President Emmanuel Macron for the text he sent him during this morning’s Australia V France World Cup game. ”Was great to hear from Emmanuel, nice little… Read More ›
Qatar Announces Free Stone Day To Coincide With World Cup Pride Round
World Cup host Nation Qatar has announced that they plan to celebrate the competition’s pride round by handing out complimentary stone’s to all supporters. ”Qatar is a very giving Nation,” said a Qatari Spokesperson. ”If people want to celebrate pride… Read More ›