Author Archives
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Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly has… Read More ›
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Melbourne Voted Most Wankable City
The capital of Victoria, Melbourne a city once described by comedian Jerry Seinfeld as “the Anus of the World”, has today been voted the World’s most wankable city in a poll conducted by the popular blog TeaWithCatsAndKale.com. It defeated last… Read More ›
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Entire Nation Trying Not To Picture Rupert Murdoch And Jerry Hall Doing It
Australia’s 23 million people have spent the past few days trying to get the image of Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall’s wedding night out of their head. “I’m trying to think of nice things like a beautiful lake with ducks… Read More ›
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Coogee Beach Takes Off On Backpacking Holiday
Coogee Beach has disappeared from the coastline of Sydney and is heading towards the UK to do a bit of backpacking. “I’m going to drink a lot of beer, do a Contiki tour and land a job as a ‘stop… Read More ›
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Arrival Of Winter Catches Australia By Surprise For 227th Year In A Row
The annual coming of the cold season known as “winter” has once again caught Australia’s population completely off guard, causing mass confusion over whether to rug up or dress in layers. “But we’re sun loving Aussies who revel in a… Read More ›
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“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of aspiring Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 