Author Archives
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Magpies Postpone Swooping Season Till December
Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
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Scotty Cam Forced To Do Stuff All Work From Home
The coronavirus crisis has forced Australia’s Apprenticeship Ambassador Scott Cam to carry out his duties of doing stuff all from the safety of his own home. “I’ve gone into lockdown and will have to find a way to do two… Read More ›
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Mob Attacks Cute Puppy For Stealing Toilet Paper
An angry mob has torn apart a cute white Labrador puppy after the animal attempted make off with a length of Kleenex toilet paper. “He may be adorable and fluffy but these are desperate times and every sheet is precious,”… Read More ›
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Good News As Millions Of Spiders And Other Dickhead Animals Die In Bushfires
A positive has emerged from Australia’s summer of bushfires as scientists report that countless spiders, ticks, ants and other dickhead animals have perished in the flames. “Those little eight legged bastards can scuttle as fast as they want but they… Read More ›
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Tasmanian Premier Quits Politics To Spend More Time With His Other Head
Tasmanian Premier Will Hodgman has resigned saying he wants to spend more time getting to know his other head. “Politics is hard work and I’ve found that I’ve drifted apart from my other head over the past five years,” said… Read More ›
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Scomo To Burn All The Coal To Stop It Adding To Global Warming
The Prime Minster has vowed to destroy all of Australia’s coal after learning that it is a major contributor to global warming and climate change. “From what I can gather coal is horrible stuff and the sooner the world is… Read More ›
