Author Archives
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Good News As Millions Of Spiders And Other Dickhead Animals Die In Bushfires
A positive has emerged from Australia’s summer of bushfires as scientists report that countless spiders, ticks, ants and other dickhead animals have perished in the flames. “Those little eight legged bastards can scuttle as fast as they want but they… Read More ›
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Tasmanian Premier Quits Politics To Spend More Time With His Other Head
Tasmanian Premier Will Hodgman has resigned saying he wants to spend more time getting to know his other head. “Politics is hard work and I’ve found that I’ve drifted apart from my other head over the past five years,” said… Read More ›
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Scomo To Burn All The Coal To Stop It Adding To Global Warming
The Prime Minster has vowed to destroy all of Australia’s coal after learning that it is a major contributor to global warming and climate change. “From what I can gather coal is horrible stuff and the sooner the world is… Read More ›
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Country Folk Finally Feel City’s Pain After Wind Blows Traffic Jam Into The Bush
People living in the New South Wales country have gotten a taste of how tough life is for Sydney people after strong easterly winds blew a traffic jam into the state’s central west. “We’ve spent the past few weeks surrounded… Read More ›
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Coalition Reverts To Mayan Calendar To Meet 2030 Emission Targets
The Australian government has declared that it is certain to meet all of its obligations to reduce carbon emissions by 2030 after officially adopting the Mayan calendar. “The great cycle of the long count component of the Mayan calendar ended… Read More ›
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Woman With Christmas Shopping Already Done Overdoses On Smugness
A woman is in a critical condition in a Sydney hospital after taking an overdose of smug whilst declaring to her friends that she had completed all of her Christmas shopping several weeks before the event. “A female was admitted… Read More ›
