Author Archives
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Magpies Postpone Swooping Season Till December
Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
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Arrival Of Winter Catches Australia By Surprise For 227th Year In A Row
The annual coming of the cold season known as “winter” has once again caught Australia’s population completely off guard, causing mass confusion over whether to rug up or dress in layers. “But we’re sun loving Aussies who revel in a… Read More ›
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Lonely Magpie Just Wants A Hug
A sad Shire magpie who simply wants a friend is unable to comprehend why everyone he swoops down on to give a hug to runs away in terror. “I’m so alone all day on top of this telegraph pole and… Read More ›
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Shire Dad Annoyed That “The Oils” Have Gone All Political
A Shire dad is totally dismayed that his favourite band from the 1980s Midnight Oil have gone all woke with their new release “Gadigal Land”. “Mate what happened to the Oils, they used to do really cool rockers like “US… Read More ›
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Kelly Gang Commended For Wearing Masks
Dan Andrews has praised outlaw Ned Kelly and his gang for following the correct mask wearing protocol while going about their business of robbing banks and ranging about in the bush. “I watched the video Ned put up on YouTube… Read More ›
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Melbourne To Widen Laneways To Make Them Covid Safe
Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
