Author Archives
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Census Reveals 14% Growth In Number Of Statistics
The amount of statistics in Australia has grown by nearly a sixth in the last five years according to the figures from the 2016 Census released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics. “Although there has been a slight decline… Read More ›
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Molly Meldrum Designs Australian Citizenship English Test
The government has appointed noted orator Ian “Molly” Meldrum to administer a tough new English language test that will require new citizens to decipher the words of a James Reyne song. “The um people wanting to er um making it… Read More ›
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News Corp Columnists Ask To Be Left In Peace To Rationalise Why Finsbury Park Attack Was Different
Opinion writers for News Corp have asked for their privacy to be respected as they come to terms with why the terror attack on a London mosque is different. “In a few days time we’ll come thundering back with why… Read More ›
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Australia To Be Powered By Burning Copies Of Finkel Review
The coalition will guarantee Australia’s long term energy security by replacing coal fired power stations with power stations that run on the combustion of copies of the Finkel review. “If fire was good enough for the neanderthals than it’s good… Read More ›
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Malcolm Turnbull Joins Cast Of Saturday Night Live
Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull will quit politics to join the cast of Saturday Night Live after producer Lorne Michaels spotted his turn impersonating Donald Trump at the Canberra Midwinter Open Mic Comedy Night. “This Aussie guy’s Trump impression knocks Alec… Read More ›
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Rob Oakeshott To Decide Winner Of UK Election
Both major British political parties are courting the vote of Rob Oakeshott after the former Australian independent won the key seat of Dodging Sope in the recent snap UK election. “I aim to get the best deal for the constituents… Read More ›
