Author Archives
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Turf War Breaks Out Between Orange And Yellow Hi-vis Wearers
Police have appealed for calm after the tense stand off between workers who wear hi-vis work gear escalated last night following the drive by shooting of an orange hi-vis wearing Irish traffic controller by a gang of yellow hi-vis wearing… Read More ›
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Australian Space Agency To Send Manned Holden Kingswood To Dubbo By 2035
Australia will be getting its very own space agency with plans to mount a mission to put astronauts on the surface of Dubbo within two decades. “Due to the high cost of petrol and the dodgy radiator we will have… Read More ›
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BUPA Meets Healthier Version Of Itself That Runs Decent Nursing Homes
Health care provider BUPA has bumped into a healthier version of itself on the street that manages a fully staffed nursing home that treats its patients with dignity. “At first I thought ‘you’re not me, where are the maggots?’, but… Read More ›
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Pensioners To Be Tested For Bushells Tea
The government is to introduce mandatory Bushells Tea testing for old age pensioners in an attempt to reduce wear and tear on the public toilet system and to encourage them to spend less time showing off photographs of their grandchildren…. Read More ›
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Gladys Liu Denies Being Tank Driver At Tienanmen Square
Liberal Party MP Gladys Liu says she “cannot recall” whether or not she was the driver of the tank that was poised to roll over the top of a lone protester in the famous photograph of the Tienanmen Square massacre…. Read More ›
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“I Won’t Be Making That Mistake Again” Vows Dutton As Australia Is Swamped By Boatloads Of Au Pairs
Peter Dutton has vowed to never again show any signs of humanity after his last slip up led to Australia being overrun by boatloads of empowered au pairs. “Our streets are infested with dreadlock haired German hippie girls taking babies… Read More ›
