Author Archives
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Arrival Of Winter Catches Australia By Surprise For 227th Year In A Row
The annual coming of the cold season known as “winter” has once again caught Australia’s population completely off guard, causing mass confusion over whether to rug up or dress in layers. “But we’re sun loving Aussies who revel in a… Read More ›
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MCG Ready To Honour Anzacs With 58 Seconds Of Silence And Cry Of “Carn The Pies”
A Collingwood fan is greatly honoured to have been chosen to perform the traditional cry of “carn the pies” at the 58 second mark of the minute’s silence during today’s Anzac Day match at the MCG. “This is a very… Read More ›
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“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with the… Read More ›
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Cock And Balls Given Own Box On Ballot Sheet
The Australian Electoral Commission has confirmed that busy voters wishing to draw a picture of a cock and balls on their ballot paper will be given an option of ticking a box next to a pre drawn cock and balls…. Read More ›
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“Change Date Of Valentine’s Day” Demand Nation’s Undateables
Mark Latham has led a call for Valentine’s Day to be moved to the dead of winter saying the current summery date makes it a day of mourning for Australia’s fuglies. “Valentine’s Day is not a day of celebration for… Read More ›
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Promised “Alvin Purple” Sequel Revealed As Superbowl Ad
Tourism Australia has received millions of hits to its web page after airing a mock trailer for a sequel to the classic Australian movie Alvin Purple during yesterday’s Superbowl. “We’ve specifically targeted the randy young bloke with a cheeky sparkle… Read More ›