Author Archives
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“Change Date Of Valentine’s Day” Demand Nation’s Undateables
Mark Latham has led a call for Valentine’s Day to be moved to the dead of winter saying the current summery date makes it a day of mourning for Australia’s fuglies. “Valentine’s Day is not a day of celebration for… Read More ›
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Music Fans In Uproar As ‘Bound For Botany Bay’ Wins Hottest 100 Of 1788
Music fans throughout the colony of New South Wales have gone into an absolute snit of complaint after the catchy ballad Bound For Botany Bay took out first place in the Triple J Hottest 100 for 1788 “I’ve never heard… Read More ›
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Tantrum Fixing Allegations Rock Tennis
The Australian Open tennis tournament has been scandalised after a former player revealed that many high profile tantrums have been fixed by gangsters. “It’s an open secret that certain players will bung on a dummy spit to take advantage of… Read More ›
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“No-one Is Forcing Us To Watch Cricket” Australians Suddenly Realise
After 140 years of obsessively watching every second of the cricket, the Australian population has suddenly worked out that no-one is holding a gun to their head to make them do it and they could actually be doing something much… Read More ›
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“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of aspiring Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with… Read More ›
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Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly has… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 