Health care provider BUPA has bumped into a healthier version of itself on the street that manages a fully staffed nursing home that treats its patients with dignity. “At first I thought ‘you’re not me, where are the maggots?’, but… Read More ›
Business
Coles Announces New Set Of Anti-Terror Minis
Cole’s supermarkets have announced that it would be adding a new selection to its already popular plastic crap minis range. Coles Spokesperson Richard Slicker told the (un)Australian: “Off the back of the recent attack in Sydney, people have been clamouring to protect their… Read More ›
Police Treat Margaret Fulton’s Death As Suspicious As The Competition To Be A Masterchef Judge Heats Up
Police have confirmed that they are treating the death of 94 year old culinary icon Margaret Fulton as suspicious. They believe that Fulton may have been targeted by a fellow chef as she was seen as a potential front runner… Read More ›
Coles Release Series Of Collectable Mini Choked Sea Animals
Supermarket chain Coles has announced that following on from the success of its mini collectable grocery items it will be releasing a series of mini collectable sea creatures that have choked on discarded plastic shopping bags. “Shoppers will be able… Read More ›
Frydenberg To Commence Flogging Banks With The Warmest Of Lettuce
Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has called all Banking and Finance bosses to Canberra so that he can flog then with the warmest of lettuce, following the release of the Royal Commission into Banking’s report. “We’ve read the report and we will… Read More ›
Eastern Suburbs Mum Identifies Niche In Market For Grossly Overpriced Homemade Muesli
An enterprising Woollahra mumpreneur has proudly exploited a vacant slot in the market to produce her own signature grossly overpriced homemade muesli. “My extensive actionable analytics of local artisanal bakeries, gourmet organic food emporiums and prissy hole in the wall… Read More ›
