Plastic bag enthusiast Andrew Bolt has called on the Government to consider burning green bags as an alternate energy source as part of the upcoming National Energy guarantee. “What use are green bags,” said Andrew Bolt. “If like me you… Read More ›
Business
Deliveroo Contract Having Trouble Finding Its Address
A lost Deliveroo contract has admitted that it can’t find its address after several weeks of cycling frantically around the neighbourhood. “Damn it, there’s a Smith Street and a Smith Crescent in this suburb,” said the frustrated contract as it… Read More ›
‘Dry July’ Epidemic Has Man Panicking About Prospects For Weekend Drinks
All week, 31-year-old accounts manager Brad Manning has watched his Facebook feed with growing despair as friend-after-friend has enthusiastically declared their commitment to “Dry July”. Now, with Friday knock off rapidly approaching, Mr Manning has been left entirely unsure who’s… Read More ›
Australia Bans Live Export Of Contiki Tourists
The Australian Minister for Agriculture has banned the live export of Contiki tourists during the northern hemisphere summer after distressing footage emerged of hungover young Australians trying to survive a bumpy bus journey from Nice to Florence. “There was clearly… Read More ›
Woolies Scrap Single Use Checkout Operators
Customers will have to bring their own checkout operators from home after retail giant Woolworths announced the banning of single use checkout operators. “Fishermen kept finding our discarded checkout operators in the stomachs of sharks and dolphins, plus their gas… Read More ›
Real Estate Agents Lobby Government To Allow The Sale Of Human Organs
The Association of Australian Real Estate Agents has called on the Government to allow the sale of human organs so as to allow first home owners a way to enter into the market. “The average price of a house in… Read More ›
