The Missing In Action (MIA) Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has been found hiding in Woolworths Nerang, dressed as a cash register, in some sort of attempt to camouflage himself in order to sneak behind enemy lines.

”I’ve been doing a stake out so to speak in order to infiltrate the enemy and plant a flag in the name of Australia day,” said the member for Dickson. ”I was in the store for a week and managed to achieve quite a lot.”

”I dug a trench in the deli section and managed to put Australian flag stickers on every jar of Kantong in the place.”

When asked why when the Nation was struggling through a cost of living crisis he was seeking to ignite a culture war, the Opposition leader said: ”This is not a culture war. Culture is something that leftist, woke, inner city trendies discuss.”

”This is a battle for the countries soul.”

”We have already derailed the voice to parliament now we must strive to protect Australia Day at all costs.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just saw a gentleman with a southern cross tattoo, I must ask if he’d like to be my candidate for the Dunkley bi-election.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Business

Tags: 2gb, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia day, Ben Fordham, Brisbane, Culture Wars, Insiders, Kantong, Made In China, Peter Dutton, QandA, QLD, Ray Hadley, Sky News, Sky News After Dark, Southern Cross Tattoo, Stake Out, Woolworths