Author Archives
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Warning Labels Put On News Stories Containing Photos Of Spiders
The government has announced that it will be compulsory to put a warning label on any news story that contains a photograph of a spider to protect the sensibilities of sooky arachnophobes. “We are introducing the “SP” warning to go… Read More ›
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Shorten Proudly Tells Friends He Only Let the Government Get To Second Base On Recent Date
Labor leader Bill Shorten has returned from a date with the Government and proudly boasted to colleagues that he only let them get to second base as he cut them off before they got to third. “Bill was very happy… Read More ›
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Barrel Chested Old Coot At Beach Wants You To Guess How Old He Is
That leathery old bloke in speedos who’s always strutting around at the beach wants you to take a shot at guessing how old he is. “How old do you reckon I am?” asked wrinkly beachgoer Bert Vovo as he puffed… Read More ›
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Liberal Party Change Their Constitution To Make It Impossible To Unseat A Sitting Craig Kelly
Scott Morrison’s Liberal Government has held an emergency meeting overnight to change the constitution of the party to ensure that no sitting Craig Kelly is ever unseated in a pre-selection battle. “We’ve listened to the people and by people I… Read More ›
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Morrison Government Fails To Win An AACTA Acting Award For Its Performance As A Government
The Morrison Government has left the AACTA awards empty handed after their attempt to act like a Government was labelled weak and unconvincing by critics. “The AACTA awards are all about acting and the craft and we have seen none… Read More ›
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Craig Kelly To Switch Jobs With Wayne Bennett And Coach the Broncos
In an effort to quell the furor over the pre-selection of conservative firebrand Craig Kelly for the upcoming election, Primer Minister Scott Morrison has done a deal that will land Kelly at the Broncos and Bennett as the Liberal candidate… Read More ›
