Author Archives
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ScoMo Tells Those Wishing To Get Vaccinated To Learn To Throw A Javelin
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong has told all Australians that wish to be vaccinated to learn to throw a javelin and try and qualify for the Olympics in order to get a jab. ”Look, it’s simple – if you… Read More ›
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ScoMo Secures 20 Million Gideon’s Bibles To Supplement Slow Vaccine Rollout
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Hillsong has moved to reassure the nation that he has managed to secure a steady supply of Gideon’s bibles to keep the population occupied until the vaccine arrives. ”Rest assured Australia, your old mate ScoMo… Read More ›
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Peter Dutton Calls For The Immediate Banning Of Potato Peelers
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has called for the immediate banning in Australia of the humble potato peeler. ”As Minister for the Dark Arts, my job is to make the country a safe place for all Liberal-voting… Read More ›
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Colleagues Chip In To Buy Christensen A Gold Ping Pong Ball For His Retirement
The member for Manila George Christensen’s colleagues have done a whip around and purchased the retiring MP a golden ping pong ball to commemorate his time in parliament. ”What an amazing gift, I tell you this is going straight to… Read More ›
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Rinehart Calls For Less Wine Bars And More Mine Bars
Aspiring comedian and self-confessed Mother of the year Gina Rinehart has called upon Australia to stop building wine bars and start building mine bars. ”The inner city types need to start embracing more mines and less wines,” said Lord Rinehart…. Read More ›
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Milkshakes, Tacos And Where The Bloody Hell Are You? Colleagues Begin To Doubt That Scotty Is From Marketing
The failure of the Government’s most recent campaign around the issue of consent which was centered around tacos, milkshakes and sharks combined with his previous failures as head of Tourism Australia has the PM’s colleagues beginning to doubt that he… Read More ›
