Author Archives
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Dutton Launches New Coalition Slogan: We’re Not Racist, But….
The Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has today launched what he hopes to be the Coalition’s election winning slogan of: ”We’re Not Racist, But….. ”I’d like to start today’s presser by declaring that I am not racist, but,”… Read More ›
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Australian Open Fans Warned Not To Needle Novak Djokovic
Organisers of this year’s Australian Open have warned spectators not to needle anti-vac competitor Novak Djokovic when he is on court. ”Look, people need to respect Novak and his beliefs,” said a Spokesperson for the event. ”He is a champion… Read More ›
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Cardinal Pell Complains To The Devil About The Lack Of Sky News In Hell
Cardinal Pell has spent his first day in hell complaining to the Devil about not being able to get coverage of Sky News Australia on the television in his suite. ”Most people on their first day in hell do have… Read More ›
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Australia To Hold Plebiscite To Determine If Kyrgios Is Still A Tool
Australian Parliament has announced they plan to conduct a nation-wide plebiscite to determine whether tennis player Nick Kyrgios is still considered a tool. It comes in the wake of the long-time bad boy of Australian Tennis having seemingly turned his… Read More ›
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Dude Who Walked Out On The Apology And Did Nothing To Close The Gap Whilst In Govt Undecided On The Voice
Opposition Leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton remains undecided on what position his party will take on the proposed Indigenous Voice to Parliament. The Dark Lord has used the Parliamentary break to reflect on his past – like the time… Read More ›
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Prince Andrew Offers To Mentor Harry And Meghan
The late Queens most touchy subject Prince Andrew, has called his brother King Charles to offer to help smooth over family difficulties by mentoring the King’s wayward Son Prince Harry. ”Andrew has a lot to offer the World’s youth and… Read More ›