35 year-old Hobart man, Richard Monks, has heartily tucked into his evening steak, stabbing the porterhouse with his knife and declaring to his family that the knife will keel.

”Every time he watches Forged In Fire he thinks he’s that Doug bloke and proceeds to stab and thrust at his steak,” said Richard’s long suffering partner. ”Last week it almost ended in disaster when he took to his vegetarian lasagna and lost his grip of the knife and almost stabbed the dog.”

”It was vegetarian lasagna for God’s sake, why did he use a steak knife.”

SBS responded to enquiries about Forged In Fire, saying: ”Though the show does air at dinner time it is not recommended dinner time viewing. Should people do so we recommend using disposable cutlery or maybe chopsticks.”

”As well as Forged In Fire, it is not recommended that any viewers hold sharp objects whilst watching anything featuring Adam Liaw as they may inflict serious damage on their televisions.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Media

Tags: Adam Liaw, Doug Marcaida, Firge, Forged, Forged In Fire, It Will KIll, Keel, Kill, Knife, Knife making, Lasagna, Porterhouse, SBS, Steak, Steak Knife, The Cook up, Vegetarian Lasagna, weapons