Author Archives
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Coalition Backbenchers Busy Googling How To Polish A Turd
Coalition backbenchers despairing at the dreadful election loss delivered by their leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, have spent the day googling how to polish a turd in anticipation of shadow Treasurer Angus Taylor challenging for the leadership. ”It was… Read More ›
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ABC Staff Offered Grief Counselling Should Dutton Lose The Election
ABC management have sent out a memo to all staff with an offer for grief counselling to any staff who may need it, should the ABC’s favourite politician, Peter Dutton, lose this weekend’s federal election. ”The relationship between the ABC… Read More ›
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Angus Promises To Release The Coalition’s Costings As Soon As He Finds The Napkin He Wrote Them On
Peter Dutton’s replacement, err, shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, has promised the Nation that he will deliver the Coalition’s costings as soon as he finds the napkin that he wrote them on. ”People need a bit of patience, we will get… Read More ›
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Dutton Hoping Sky News’ 10’s Of Viewers Can Help Him Win The Election
Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has put his chances of winning the upcoming election in the hands of Sky News Australia’s 10’s of viewers. With Mr Dutton refusing to take any questions from journalists other than those who appear on… Read More ›
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”I Thought They Were Asking the Price Of Easter Eggs,” Claims Despondent Dutton
Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half… Read More ›
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Aussie Cardinal Looking Forward To Conclave Sausage Whilst Voting For The New Pope
As Cardinals flock to Vatican City to pay respects to the old Pope and then elect a new one, an Australian Cardinal has told the local press of his excitement to be there, not only to vote but also consume… Read More ›