Author Archives
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Dutton Demands A Revamp Of The Maths Syllabus With More Emphasis On Division
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a revamp of the Australian Maths syllabus to ensure that more emphasis is put on division. ”It is totally unacceptable that the average Australian kid leaves school knowing how to add and multiply but… Read More ›
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Bolt Happy That His Viewers, All 6 Of Them Turned Up To His Australia Day BBQ
Low rating TV host Andrew Bolt has boasted of the turn out for his Australia Day BBQ, after all 6 of his viewers turned up. ”It was a great day full of vigorous discussion, a little merlot and a lot… Read More ›
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Man Who Walked Out On The Apology Demands Australians Celebrate Australia Day, Or Else
The man who walked out on Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s apology to the stolen generation, Peter Dutton, has demanded that all Australians celebrate Australia Day with gusto, or else. ”I, and my good friends at News Corp have decided that… Read More ›
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World On Edge As President Musk Takes A Sudden Interest In Poland
World leaders have been trying to stay calm whilst seemingly on edge, after it was reported that new American President, Elon Musk, has been seen to be showing a lot of interest in Poland lately. ”They say those that do… Read More ›
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Australia’s Worst People Set Their Alarms For 2am To Watch The Trump Inauguration Live
Alarm clocks and phones have been heard ringing around Toorak, Mosman and the Mornington Peninsula this morning as some of Australia’s worst people have gotten up early to watch the Presidential inauguration. ”What a great day for the World, President… Read More ›
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Barnaby Threatens To Blow Up The Coalition After Dutton Excludes Booze From His Long Lunch Write Off Plan
Peter Dutton’s plan to alleviate the cost of living crisis by allowing businesses to ‘write-off’ long lunches has caused chaos amongst the Coalition, after the decision was made to exclude booze from being written off. ”Bloody Dutton needs to get… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 