A Collingwood fan is greatly honoured to have been chosen to perform the traditional cry of “carn the pies” at the 58 second mark of the minute’s silence during today’s Anzac Day match at the MCG. “This is a very… Read More ›
AFL
Magpies Postpone Swooping Season Till December
Faced with the possibility that the streets will still be bare of people in September, Australia’s magpies have reluctantly pushed back the swooping season to December. “What’s the point of swooping season if there’s no-one to swoop down on but… Read More ›
Scotty From Marketing Announces Bec Judd As Guest High Court Judge
Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has announced that Melbourne based influencer Bec Judd will next year serve as a guest judge to the High Court. ”I was watching the Block this week with Jen and the Girls when I… Read More ›
Craig Kelly Calls On The Government To Appoint Gary Ablett Sr As Chief Health Officer
Government backbencher and aspiring Minister for Science Craig Kelly has called upon the Government (which he is still a part of) to appoint former AFL player Gary Ablett Sr as the countries new Chief Medical Officer. ”It’s time this Government… Read More ›
ScoMo To Consider Adding Former AFL Players To The National Cabinet
Australia’s Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has told colleagues that after seeing multiple articles in Melbourne’s Herald Sun newspaper of former AFL players being critical of Victoria’s Covid restrictions, that he is considering adding a couple of them to the… Read More ›
Melbourne To Widen Laneways To Make Them Covid Safe
Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›