Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and… Read More ›
Anthony Albanese
Barnaby Asks Albo To Investigate The Shrinkflation He Gets When Swimming
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair… Read More ›
Dutton Promises To Make Peta Credlin Governor General When He’s PM
Australia’s de facto Prime Minister, according to the ABC and News Corp, Peter Dutton, has today issued an edict that when he becomes official PM he will anoint low-rating Sky News Australia host, Peta Credlin, Governor General of Australia. ”Peta… Read More ›
“Let Them Eat Yellow Cake,” Dutton Tells Those Opposed To Nuclear
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off releasing no new details of his nuclear power policy, has reacted angrily to all those against the policy (sic) saying: ”let them eat yellow cake.” ”Bloody Greenies, inner city elite and the so-called journalists… Read More ›
Dutton Tasks Angus With Setting Up A Go Fund Me To Pay For The Nuclear
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has tasked his shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor (yep, really), to set up a Go Fund Me account with the hopes of raising 140 billion in order to pay for the nuclear power plants that they plan… Read More ›
Chandler-Mather Misses Meeting After Being Distracted By A Mirror
Greens poster boy, Max Chandler-Mather, has apologised to his colleagues after missing a party meeting due to being distracted by a mirror. ”The Albanese Government needs to stop doing whatever they are doing and focus on the big issues, like… Read More ›