Australian’s have woken up today with the nagging thought in their heads that former Australian Cricket Captain Michael Clarke might be a bit of a tool. ”Yeah, dude could bat, but getting in a fight with Karl from the Today… Read More ›
Australia
ABC To Add ‘Woke Content’ Warnings To Broadcast
In its latest attempt to limit offense to ‘anti-woke folk’ and cover themselves in case of a Dutton miracle win, ABC TV will add a warning prior to its broadcasts where a ‘Welcome to country’ is to be screened. “It’s… Read More ›
Australian Open Fans Warned Not To Needle Novak Djokovic
Organisers of this year’s Australian Open have warned spectators not to needle anti-vac competitor Novak Djokovic when he is on court. ”Look, people need to respect Novak and his beliefs,” said a Spokesperson for the event. ”He is a champion… Read More ›
Australia To Hold Plebiscite To Determine If Kyrgios Is Still A Tool
Australian Parliament has announced they plan to conduct a nation-wide plebiscite to determine whether tennis player Nick Kyrgios is still considered a tool. It comes in the wake of the long-time bad boy of Australian Tennis having seemingly turned his… Read More ›
“No-one Is Forcing Us To Watch Cricket” Australians Suddenly Realise
After 140 years of obsessively watching every second of the cricket, the Australian population has suddenly worked out that no-one is holding a gun to their head to make them do it and they could actually be doing something much… Read More ›
Sky News Starts Looking Under Rocks For Chris Smith’s Replacement
Low rating news station Sky News Australia has started looking under rocks and scouring YouTube for ranting bus racists in an effort to replace disgraced former host Chris Smith. ”Been a tough week that’s for sure, talk about Sophie’s choice… Read More ›