The big day is almost here. The sausages are defrosting, the cakes are being iced and the entire Nation breathes a sigh of relief that they will no longer be receiving unauthorised text messages from a C Palmer of Brisbane…. Read More ›
Labor
ScoMo Pledges To Neck A Yard Glass Of Macca’s Coke In Honour Of Bob Hawke
Scott Morrison has pledged to take some time out in his final days campaigning as Prime Minister to neck a yard glass of Macca’s coke as a tribute to former Prime Minister Bob Hawke. “I know a lot of Australian’s… Read More ›
Cock And Balls Given Own Box On Ballot Sheet
The Australian Electoral Commission has confirmed that busy voters wishing to draw a picture of a cock and balls on their ballot paper will be given an option of ticking a box next to a pre drawn cock and balls…. Read More ›
Barnaby Joyce Plans To Spend The Week Polling Swinging Voters
Future deputy Opposition leader Barnaby Joyce has told colleagues that he plans to spend the final week of the election campaign polling swinging voters in an effort to get the Coalition over the line. “I am a proven campaigner and… Read More ›
BREAKING: Peter Dutton Promises To Continue Being An Arsehole If Re-Elected
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has kicked off his re-election campaign for the seat of Dickson in Queensland by promising constituents that should they re-elect him he will continue to be the same old arsehole that he has… Read More ›
Liberal Party To Celebrate Mother’s Day With A Giant Sausage Fest
The Liberal party has announced that they will be celebrating Mother’s day this year with a giant sausage fest that will also double as their campaign launch. “It was unfortunate timing that Mother’s day falls on the same day as… Read More ›
