The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has put out a statement to reassure the Nation’s female folk that he is a lover not a fighter. ”It is a tough time for women right now,” said… Read More ›
Labor
Dutton Sick Of The Division In Australia Demands We All Call Them Potato Scallops
Divisive Peter Dutton has called for the nation to come together and settle the argument once and for all by demanding that all Australian’s call them potato scallops. ”It’s time for someone to take charge and start dealing with the… Read More ›
Indooroopilly Macca’s Playground To Host Olympic Opening Ceremony
The Queensland Government (for now) has announced that the 2032 Olympic opening ceremony will be held at the Indooroopily Macca’s outdoor playground. The news comes after the billion dollar plan to rebuild the Gabba has been scrapped. ”The 2032 Brisbane… Read More ›
Greens Sad After Dutton Won’t Join Their Drum Circle, Despite Joining Forces To Sink Albo’s House Plan
The Australian Greens have held a sad drum circle today after their offers to Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, to join were strongly rebuffed. ”We thought that after we took Peter’s side against Albo to make sure no new houses were… Read More ›
Sussan Defends Dutton: ”He Can’t Be A Liar, His Pants Are Not On Fire”
The Liberal party’s deputy leader (yep, really), Sussan Ley, has defended the parties leader Peter Dutton from accusations of lying, declaring that Peter can’t be a liar as his pants are not on fire. ”The press and Mr Albanese like… Read More ›
Mulch Dropped On NSW State Forests To Prevent Bushfires
In a bid to fireproof the state for the remainder of summer Chris Minns has spread half a billion tonnes of mulch over the state’s bushland. “We’ve been sending out Elvis the water sucking helicopter to hoover up all that… Read More ›