Coalition backbenchers worried about the pathetic polling of their leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, have spent the day googling how to polish a turd in anticipation of shadow Treasurer Angus Taylor challenging for the leadership. ”It was always a… Read More ›
Labor
Dutton Condemns Melbourne Traffic After His Aston Candidate Faces A 40 Minute Drive To Get To The Electorate
Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has condemned Victorian Premier Dan Andrews over traffic in Melbourne, after his candidate for the upcoming Aston bi-election spent 40 minutes driving from their home in Fitzroy to the electorate. ”What planet does comrade… Read More ›
Latham Puts One Nation’s Low Vote Down To The State’s Low Levels Of Literacy
Perennial election loser, Mark Latham, has blamed the low vote tally of his current party One Nation from the weekend’s NSW state election on the state’s low level of literacy. ”Bloody electoral commission! How dare they expect our voters to… Read More ›
Western Sydney Voters Will Have To Pay Tolls Before Voting
NSW Premier (for now) Dominic Perrotet has told voters to make sure they bring cash when voting in tomorrow’s election as there will be toll booths operating at all voting booths in Western Sydney. ”We didn’t have enough time to… Read More ›
Cock And Balls Given Own Box On Ballot Sheet
The Australian Electoral Commission has confirmed that busy voters wishing to draw a picture of a cock and balls on their ballot paper will be given an option of ticking a box next to a pre drawn cock and balls…. Read More ›
Greens Call For A Ban On The Election Day Sausage Sizzle
The Australian Greens have today called for the immediate banning of the traditional Election Day sausage sizzle, declaring that it is highly insensitive to vegetarians and that the phallic nature of the sausage is intimidating to female voters. “For too… Read More ›