The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has been keenly following his colleague Josh Frydenberg’s struggles to retain his seat at the upcoming election, telling his fellow Death Eaters that he’d consider becoming Treasurer should the opportunity arise. ”The Dark Lord has… Read More ›
Liberals
Barnaby Calls For More Funding For Future Single Mothers
Aspiring Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has called for an increase in funding for future single Mothers, in a move that he feels may help the Coalition with their female problem. ”We need to make sure we look after… Read More ›
Barnaby Tells ScoMo: End The Bonk Ban Win The Election
Australia’s next Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has told the PM that the reason that they are doing so badly in the polls is due to the contentious (only to Barnaby) bonk ban. ”Bloody, Scott, err, ScoMo, needs to… Read More ›
Press Pack Turns On Albo After He Serves Only Domestic Wine At Media Mixer
The Canberra press pack has turned on Opposition leader Anthony Albanese after they were served only domestic wines at the Labor pre-election party mixer. ”This will definitely cost Labor the election,” said a member of the press pack, off the… Read More ›
Albo Apologises To Colleagues For Saying The Saints Released ‘I’m Stranded’ in ’74 Not ’76
Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese has apologised to his Labor colleagues after being caught out on the campaign trail saying that seminal Australian band The Saints released their hit single I’m Stranded in 1974 when it was in fact released in… Read More ›
Barnaby Asks PM If The Bonk Ban Applies When In Opposition
Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has asked the PM if the contentious (for Barnaby) bonk ban would apply to the Coalition if/when they lose Government and are in Opposition. ”What can I say, I like to plan… Read More ›