Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has told the producers of ABC’s 4 Corners that he will release their loved ones from captivity the moment he sees the ratings for last night’s show. ”It won’t be too long now… Read More ›
Media
Fixated Persons Unit Investigate Sky News Over Meghan Markle
The Fixated Persons Unit has announced that they will be investigating niche news network Sky News Australia over the stations ongoing obsession with Meghan Markle. ”We understand that Meghan is in the public eye so news stories about her are… Read More ›
Cruel Blow To Lismore With News Paul Murray Will Broadcast Live From The Town
The flood-ravaged town of Lismore has been dealt a heavy blow today, with news that Sky News’ leading idiot Paul Murray will broadcast live from the town. ”Ah, jeez, haven’t we suffered enough what with the floods, clean up and… Read More ›
Sky News Blames Shockingly Low Ratings On Cancel Culture
Niche news network Sky News Australia has lashed out and blamed what they call ”cancel culture” for the network’s ridiculously low ratings. ”Damn! Woke leftists have decided to cancel us,” said a Sky News spokesperson. ”They should force people to… Read More ›
Sky News Launches Australia’s Next Top Racist In Search For Jones’ Replacement
Niche news network Sky News Australia has launched a new reality show, Australia’s next top racist with the winner to be given Alan Jones’ spot on the network. ”Replacing Alan Jones is no easy task, it’s rare these days to… Read More ›
Sky News Celebrates Alan Jones’ Record Ratings Number Of 8 Actual Viewers
Niche cable channel Sky News Australia has touted the recent ratings success of broadcaster Alan Jones after the recently turned octogenarian cracked the elusive 8 actual viewers number. ”What a great result Alan has delivered to us, 8 whole viewers,”… Read More ›