Australia’s Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has blamed his terribly low polling results on the rise of the low-carb diet. ”The Australian people don’t know what’s good for them,” declared the Dark Lord. ”They’re all Albo this and… Read More ›
Polls
Dutton Shocked To Learn That Politics Is In Fact A Popularity Contest
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn that politics is in fact a popularity contest. The news came with the arrival of the latest News Poll with the Opposition leader languishing behind the PM Anthony Albanese…. Read More ›
Sky News Polls Their Viewers, All 6 Of Them And Declares ScoMo Will Win
Niche news network Sky News Australia has released polling that they’ve done with their viewers, all 6 of them, that shows Prime Minister Scott Morrison will comfortably win this Saturday’s election. ”Our polls indicate that over 83% of our viewers… Read More ›
ScoMo To Use $5 Billion Disaster Relief Fund To Fix His Public Image
Australian Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison has pledged to get his hands dirty and dig into the Government’s $5 billion disaster relief fund to help fix his broken public image. ”It hasn’t been an easy couple of years for… Read More ›
ScoMo Plans To Jump A Shark At The National Press Club
Australian Prime Minister Scotty who was fired from marketing aka ”ScoMo” will today appear at the National Press Club (NPC), where he plans to jump over a shark. ”How good is jumping a shark?” Shouted the Prime Minister. ”I’m sure… Read More ›
ScoMo Shocked To Learn That Australian’s Aren’t Big Fans Of Lying
Australia’s Prime Minister Scotty who was fired from marketing was shocked when he was told by one of his team of pollsters that the Australian public where not big fans of lying or liars. ”Yeah, the PM was a bit… Read More ›