Niche news network Sky News Australia has issued a press release to announce record high levels of ratings following their round the clock coverage of condemning Meghan Markle. ”What an achievement to gain a whole new 3 viewers,” said a… Read More ›
Rupert Murdoch
Bolt Pledges To Never Get Out Of Bed To Avoid Being Woke
Low rating Sky News TV host Andrew Bolt has pledged that he will no longer leave his bed so as to avoid being woke. ”I call upon my fellow conservative soldiers to join me in a sleep in against wokeness,”… Read More ›
News Corp Signs Cardinal Pell As Columnist With Hope That He’ll Touch The Youth Of Australia
News Corp Australia has signed Cardinal Pell as their new columnist in the hope that the Cardinal can reach out and touch the youth of the Nation. ”As the audience ages News Corp need to reach a younger demographic,” said… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Surviving The Week With All His Horcruxes Intact
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has celebrated surviving the first week of Parliament with all his horcruxes intact. ”The Dark Lord has survived a bruising first week,” said a Spokes Death Eater for the Dark Lord. ”Harry Albanese… Read More ›
Sky News To Run A Telethon To Raise Funds For Cardinal Pell
Niche news network Sky News Australia has announced plans to hold a telethon to raise funds for Cardinal Pell’s upcoming legal battles. They’ve asked their viewers, all 6 of them, to please give generously. ”The Cardinal has touched so many,”… Read More ›
Sky News Australia Attacks Albo For Not Acting On Row V Wade Sooner
Niche news network Sky News Australia has dedicated the weekend to attacking Prime Minister Anthony Albanese over his failure to take any action over the US Supreme court’s ruling on Roe V Wade. ”What is Albo actually doing?” Asked low… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 