Peter Dutton’s replacement, err, shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, has promised the Nation that he will deliver the Coalition’s costings as soon as he finds the napkin that he wrote them on. ”People need a bit of patience, we will get… Read More ›
Sky News
”I Thought They Were Asking the Price Of Easter Eggs,” Claims Despondent Dutton
Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half… Read More ›
Dutton Uses Son To Illustrate Difficulty In Young People Buying Their First Investment Property
Australia’s number one Donald Trump impersonator, Peter Dutton, has wheeled his son out in front of the press to illustrate the difficulty young people face in buying their first investment property. ”Times are tough and my son is a classic… Read More ›
Dutton Chuffed That Trump Followed His Lead And Performed A Policy Backflip
Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has been seen on the campaign trail with a spring in his step, following news overnight that his idol, President Trump, took inspiration from him and performed a policy backflip over imposing tariffs on the… Read More ›
Dutton Recharged And Ready After Spending The Weekend Hurting People
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he is refreshed and ready to hit the campaign trail after spending the weekend indulging in his favorite hobby, physically hurting people. ”Look, week one wasn’t my best, but, I think we… Read More ›
Dutton Calls Out The Media For Discriminating Against His Glass Jaw
In what some are calling a lover’s tiff, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, has angrily accused his biggest fans, the Australian media, of discriminating against his glass jaw. ”They know I’m sensitive to criticism, so what’s with all the questions,” whined… Read More ›