News Corp opinionist Piers Akerman has confirmed that he recently entered rehab to try to cure a runaway addiction to the medium to light bodied white wine chardonnay, alongside an attempt to go cold turkey on his basket weaving habit.

“I can’t hide this secret shame any longer”, said a teary eyed Akerman. “For years I’ve accused chardonnay quaffers of being softcock lefty pinkos while secretly knocking back two or three bottles of the stuff myself nightly. And there’s nothing I like better than to relax in front of the fire with a bloody great bag of spool and rattan, weaving myself basket after basket.”

Akerman’s revelations follow on from the admission by fellow columnist Janet Albrechtsen that she’d brought up fifty percent of Kenya’s ivory in an attempt to build herself an ivory tower from which to pontificate.

Peter Green

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Categories: Media