Low-rating Australian ”news” channel Sky News Australia has announced to their viewers, all 6 of them, that they will be launching a subscription based OnlyFans account loaded with saucy content.

”Who wouldn’t want to pay extra to see our hosts tag team and spit roast the Albanese Government? Asked a Sky news Insider. ”Imagine Peta Credlin and Paul Murray going down on the Government’s polling.”

”I can see the tens of dollars rolling in already.”

When asked why the news channel was seemingly obsessed with attacking the Albanese government whilst at the same time praising the Dutton Opposition, the Sky News Insider said: ”We do what’s best for the country and by the country I mean the wishes of the Murdoch family.”

”Well Rupert and Lachlan, we don’t give a toss what James thinks.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, Andy Bolt has plans to do his infamous pants off impersonation of the Speaker Milton Dick, I must go and do some fluffing.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

https://bit.ly/2y8DH68

Categories: News