Author Archives
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Tony Abbott To Send Malcolm Turnbull To Mars
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has secretly entered Communcations Minister Malcolm Turnbull into the final shortlist of 100 people to go on the first manned mission to Mars. Insiders say that Mr Turnbull wasn’t consulted. “That’s not exactly true,” the prime minister… Read More ›
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Man Believes His Constant Ukulele Playing Is ‘Fun And Quirky’
Pete McLeod, a 26-year-old Sydney University sociology tutor, truly believes his constant playing of his ukulele at any conceivable opportunity is all part of his “fun, quirky charm”, friends say. “Yeah, given any excuse, Pete will pull out his ukulele and… Read More ›
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Cory Bernardi Gives 50 Shades Of Grey 4 ½ Stars
Controversial Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi has penned a lengthy and overwhelmingly positive review of Sam Taylor-Johnson’s blockbuster 50 Shades of Grey. In a 1200 word critique posted on Rotten Tomatoes, the South Australian politician praised the film for its realistic… Read More ›
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Anti-Halal Spokesperson Stunned To Discover You Can’t Just Make Shit Up
A prominent anti-halal campaigner has expressed shock and dismay after discovering that you can’t actually just go around making up random shit to defame an entire religious group. The moment of shocking realisation came for Kerrie Bigot, who runs the… Read More ›
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Weekend (un)Australian: Qantas To Crack Down On Ugly People
Qantas has warned that it is about to get tough on ugly people who try to enter any of its airport business lounges. From April 1, lounge managers will exercise their right to refuse entry to those who don’t meet minimum standards of… Read More ›
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Human Rights Commission Accused Of Shocking Pro-Human Rights Bias
In a stunning rebuke, the Human Rights Commission was roundly condemned by Prime Minister Tony Abbott for a shocking bias in favour of human rights in its report on children in Australia’s detention centres. Mr Abbott, a renowned impartial commentator… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 