A medieval peasant is continuing to soldier on at work with a heavy dose of bubonic plague despite being urged to take a few days off by his boss and fellow workers. “I noticed on Friday afternoon that Gary was… Read More ›
News
Parents Given 10 Year Jail Sentence For Taking Pram To Vivid
A judge has sentenced a Sydney couple to 10 years hard labour for the crime of “Being A Thoroughly Entitled Dickhead” after they brought a pram to the annual Festival of Being Crushed in a Crowd, popularly known as “Vivid”…. Read More ›
Dutton Confident He Has The Numbers To Roll NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian
Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been seen wandering the halls of parliament telling colleagues that he is confident that he has the numbers to roll recently elected NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian and take her job. “Peter is… Read More ›
Christmas Crisis Deepens: Deported Santa Places All Australians On Naughty List
Several days after being detained by Australian Border Force, Santa Claus has been deported by Australian immigration for not having appropriate documentation to enter the country. In the early hours of this morning, Santa Claus boarded a Jetstar flight to… Read More ›
Cat Really Hoping To Avoid Current Owner In Next Eight Lives
A local feline has expressed horror at the prospect of spending any of its next eight lives as the pet of the crazy cat lady it is living with in this life. “I’d rather come back as a rat catcher… Read More ›
Sydney Faces Crash In Conversations About Housing Prices
The amount of conversations about housing prices reached a 10-year low at barbecues all around Sydney on the weekend, a sign that the housing conversation boom may be over. “Spring is usually the peak time for wankers to boast about… Read More ›
