ABC management have sent out a memo to all staff with an offer for grief counselling to any staff who may need it, should the ABC’s favourite politician, Peter Dutton, lose this weekend’s federal election. ”The relationship between the ABC… Read More ›
Anthony Albanese
Angus Promises To Release The Coalition’s Costings As Soon As He Finds The Napkin He Wrote Them On
Peter Dutton’s replacement, err, shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, has promised the Nation that he will deliver the Coalition’s costings as soon as he finds the napkin that he wrote them on. ”People need a bit of patience, we will get… Read More ›
“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws A Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with the… Read More ›
”I Thought They Were Asking the Price Of Easter Eggs,” Claims Despondent Dutton
Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half… Read More ›
Sky News Tries To Implicate Albo With The Death Of The Pope
Peter Dutton’s head cheerleaders, Sky News Australia, have spent the last night trying to link Prime Minister Anthony Albanese with the death of the Pope. ”Can the Prime Minister prove his whereabouts on the night the Pope died?” Asked Sky… Read More ›
Dutton Orders Price To Make Australia The 51st State Of America
Australian opposition leader, Peter ‘Donald’ Dutton, has ordered his right-hand person, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price to get in contact with Donald Trump and do a deal to make Australia the 51st state of America ”Australia needs strong leadership and I am… Read More ›