Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has told fans/journalists how he longs for a white Christmas, one in which he can deck the halls with boughs of misogyny, err, holly. ”I am an old fashioned type of bloke and… Read More ›
Coalition
Barnaby Tells Dutton To Leave The Swinging Voters To Me
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told his colleagues that he is ready to fight the next election and promises his leader, Peter Dutton, that he will handle the Nation’s swinging voters. ”When you… Read More ›
Peter Dutton Halloween Costume This Year’s Top Seller
Costume shops all around the country have reported a surge in demand for Opposition Leader, Peter Dutton, themed costumes ahead of this year’s Halloween. “Mate they are flying off the shelf and to be honest I’m glad, as they are… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Newspoll Success By Strangling A Puppy
Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and… Read More ›
Barnaby Asks Albo To Investigate The Shrinkflation He Gets When Swimming
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair… Read More ›
Dutton Demands All ABC Reporters Hand Over Their Lunch Money
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off verbally abusing an ABC reporter after they dared ask him a question, has demanded that all ABC staff hand over their lunch money to their peers (sic) at Sky News Australia. ”These ABC journalists… Read More ›