A Sydney man staring idly at the pricey wares on offer in an Eastern Suburbs artisanal bakery is currently wishing that he was wealthy enough to afford to eat like a subsistence farmer from the Renaissance. “You must have had… Read More ›
Cost of Living
”I Thought They Were Asking the Price Of Easter Eggs,” Claims Despondent Dutton
Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half… Read More ›
Barnaby Threatens To Blow Up The Coalition After Dutton Excludes Booze From His Long Lunch Write Off Plan
Peter Dutton’s plan to alleviate the cost of living crisis by allowing businesses to ‘write-off’ long lunches has caused chaos amongst the Coalition, after the decision was made to exclude booze from being written off. ”Bloody Dutton needs to get… Read More ›
Australians Wonder What Culture War Dutton Will Dream Up Next To Distract From His Dud Nuclear Plan
Australians have woken up this morning (pun not intended), wondering what culture war they will have inflicted upon them today by Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, in an effort to distract the Nation from his dud nuclear plan. ”Has he done… Read More ›
Nation Stunned That An Australian Olympic Hockey Player Could Afford Cocaine
Australia has reacted strongly to news overnight that an Olympic hockey player has been caught trying to purchase cocaine. With the majority of people stunned to learn that the athlete could actually afford the cocaine. ”Mate, aren’t these guys always… Read More ›
Dutton Celebrates Polling Success By Strangling A Basket Of Puppies
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has celebrated his success over the weekend in overtaking Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in the polls by heading to his local pet store and strangling a basket of puppies. ”It’s important that we don’t just dwell… Read More ›