Low rating Sky News talking head Andrew Bolt has called on his viewers, all 6 of them, to storm the Victorian capital and protest Dan Andrews’ election win. ”Peta Credlin, Rowan Dean and Myself didn’t vote for Dan Andrews, so… Read More ›
Melbourne
Please, Gamble Irresponsibly: Aussies reminded of tax revenue ahead of Melbourne Cup
Australia’s 3,798 online gambling companies have today, ahead of the Melbourne Cup, reminded Australians to gamble irresponsibly. In a move to ensure they maximise expenditure from once-a-year punters, the companies are enforcing a direct and stern message. “The last thing… Read More ›
Very Fast Sushi Train Will Deliver Salmon Roll From Melbourne To Sydney In Under Three Hours
The government has commissioned a feasibility study to look into the construction of a Very Fast Sushi Train down the eastern seaboard, raising hopes that sushi aficionados in Brisbane will be able to sample a frilled scallop nigiri that has… Read More ›
Tearful Baristas Admit It’s Been International Roast™ All Along
All coffee served in Australia’s hipster cafes has been International Roast™ the whole time, confessed the nations baristas in a tear soaked press conference yesterday. “The Belizian Misty Mountain, the Los Pelotas Kilimanjaro Cascara, even the one that allegedly has… Read More ›
Melbourne Voted Most Wankable City
The capital of Victoria, Melbourne a city once described by comedian Jerry Seinfeld as “the Anus of the World”, has today been voted the World’s most wankable city in a poll conducted by the popular blog TeaWithCatsAndKale.com. It defeated last… Read More ›
Greens Demand Australia Be Renamed As The “Us” In Australia Is Offensive To The Chronically Single
Greens Leader Adam Bandt has called upon the Prime Minister to rename the country as the use of “us” in Australia could be offensive to the chronically single. ”For too long, this country’s single people have been left behind,” said… Read More ›