Costume shops all around the country have reported a surge in demand for interim Opposition Leader Peter Dutton themed costumes ahead of this year’s Halloween. “Mate they are flying off the shelf and to be honest I’m glad, as they… Read More ›
Opposition Leader
“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of aspiring Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with… Read More ›
Dutton Calls On Chinese Checkers To Be Renamed Freedom Checkers
The Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has called upon the popular board game Chinese Checkers to be renamed ‘Freedom Checkers’ in an effort to punish China for the ongoing animosity between the two counntries. ”I am appalled that… Read More ›
Dutton Demands Irish Border Be Shut To Keep Out Potato Blight
Opposition Leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese close the Irish border before the dreaded potato blight hits the country. ”This government needs to get off their backsides and take some action,” said the… Read More ›
Dutton Shocked That Most People Don’t Consider Puppy Strangling A Hobby
Opposition leader Peter Dutton (yep, really) has expressed shock to his advisors after they told him that the general public wasn’t as into puppy strangling as a hobby as he was. ”Peter is still getting used to being the front… Read More ›
Dutton’s Colleagues Relieved To Be Reunited With Their Loved Ones
Following his ascension to leader of the Opposition, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has released his colleagues loved ones from the holding cells in his lair deep in the bowels of Parliament house. ”I’m a big believer in insurance, whether… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 