Opposition leader Peter Dutton (yep, really) has expressed shock to his advisors after they told him that the general public wasn’t as into puppy strangling as a hobby as he was. ”Peter is still getting used to being the front… Read More ›
Opposition Leader
Dutton’s Colleagues Relieved To Be Reunited With Their Loved Ones
Following his ascension to leader of the Opposition, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has released his colleagues loved ones from the holding cells in his lair deep in the bowels of Parliament house. ”I’m a big believer in insurance, whether… Read More ›
“Just Call Me The Big C,” Says Dutton In Pitch To Conservative Voters
Aspiring Opposition leader and a man that our Lawyers say does not resemble Lord Voldemort Peter Dutton has told conservative voters that he is one of them and they should refer to him as the Big C. ”A lot of… Read More ›
“My Husband Is Not A Monster” Says Kirilly Dutton As She Throws Sackful Of Offal Into His Cellar
The wife of aspiring Opposition leader Peter Dutton has denied that her husband is a monster who prowls the neighbourhood after dark feeding on small mammals, saying he is just a misunderstood knockabout bloke who loves making dad jokes with… Read More ›
Dutton Asks Albo For Measurements To The Opposition Leader’s Office
The Dark Lord Peter Dutton has called upon Labor leader Anthony Albanese to ask him what the measurement’s are for the Opposition leader’s office. ”I called Anthony and just wanted to know how big his office is, as in 7… Read More ›
Barnaby Asks PM If The Bonk Ban Applies When In Opposition
Aspiring shadow Minister for Home Affairs Barnaby Joyce has asked the PM if the contentious (for Barnaby) bonk ban would apply to the Coalition if/when they lose Government and are in Opposition. ”What can I say, I like to plan… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 