When news broke that Australian citizen Yassmin Abdel-Magied’s had been deported from the United States filtered through to The Daily Telegraph’s offices, columnist Miranda Devine begun weeping with joy and shouting: “There is a God, yes, there is a God!” “I need… Read More ›
Trump
Peter Dutton Labels Victoria A S***hole
Minister for Home Affairs Peter Dutton has ramped up his attack on the State of Victoria by labelling it ‘a s***hole.’ “Look I stand by my statement that Victoria is, pardon the French a s***hole,” said an unrepentent Minister Dutton…. Read More ›
Pauline Hanson Invites Vladimir Putin To Australia For A Measles Party
One Nation Senator and self-confessed Vladimir Putin fangirl Pauline Hanson has extended an invitation to the Russian President to come to Australia and join her in a measles party. Speaking to The (un)Australian Pauline Hanson explained in full her invite,… Read More ›
Joe Hockey Makes TV Show About Yanks Killing Pharlap
Ambassador Joe Hockey has proudly announced that the first episode of his new cable TV show about Australian US friendship will focus on the time the American poisoned Pharlap. “I couldn’t think of a better way to commemorate 100 years… Read More ›
Man At Barbecue Able To Back Up His Claim That He Doesn’t Know Much About Politics
A man at a Connells Point barbecue who boldly stated that he doesn’t know much about politics before embarking upon a rant about what’s wrong with the state of the world has proven to be 100% correct. “I thought maybe… Read More ›
World Panics after Death Of Last Remaining Adult
Relatives of the world’s last living adult Frank Barnstaple have confirmed that the 93 year old grown up has passed away, leaving the residents of the world frightened and bewildered. “When I was a kid there were adults everywhere making… Read More ›