Donald Trump has foiled a Chinese Secret Service plan to assassinate him with a squadron of highly trained malaria bearing mosquitoes by craftily swallowing an entire bottle of hydroxy-chloroquine. “Curses, we spent months training a crack team of anopheles mosquitoes… Read More ›
An embarrassing faux pas led to the assassination squads arranged by both Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton arriving at the same time at Jeffrey Epstein’s jail cell to carry out the hit, an inquiry has been told. “It was really… Read More ›
American President Donald Trump has expressed his gratitude towards Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison in the form of a tweet. Thanking the Australian PM for the wristy and the commitment to join him in Iran. “This is an outstanding result… Read More ›
American President Donald Trump has announced today that former actor/comedian Roseanne Barr will be joining his administration as the official White house Tweetsperson. “What a great day for America to have someone of the caliber of Roseanne sending out tweets… Read More ›
A court has awarded Donald, a New York City monkey, full copyright to a selfie that he accidentally snapped in a landmark animal rights decision. “I handed my camera to Donald when he became interested in how shiny it was,”… Read More ›
When news broke that Australian citizen Yassmin Abdel-Magied’s had been deported from the United States filtered through to The Daily Telegraph’s offices, columnist Miranda Devine begun weeping with joy and shouting: “There is a God, yes, there is a God!” “I need… Read More ›
