Karl Stefanovic’s recent suit stunt was the result of one of the longest running on-air binges in television history The (un) Australian has recently learned. The feminist explanation was created in retrospect to serve as a cover.
Sporting a hangover and tepidly sipping on a Berocca, Stefanovic told The (un)Australian that his protracted stretch of intense drinking had occurred organically following a 2013 awards night.
“When you’re inflicting morning television on humanity, you drink,” said Stefanovic, “I’d been caught out before being drunk on air, but that wasn’t going to stop me drinking, I mean look at what I do to people, I’m not going to be sober for that.”
Stefanovic then turned away wistfully as if recalling the horrorific war memories and added “so much inane puffery.”
Stefanovic reportedly lacked sufficient time to change before or after a show. At the end of a recording, he would make his way directly to the Network Nine bar and remain there, often until morning before sleeping on the morning couch. He would then be woken shortly before the next morning’s telecast by an intern and instructed to go into makeup.
When asked about the response from the public, applauding his highlighting of inequality of expectation between men and women on television Karl said, “Ahhhhhh, yeah… sure. Broads have it pretty tough,” before violently vomiting all over the floor.
Public binge historian Professor Herbert Hubertson said that while Karl’s year-long binge was certainly noteworthy, he was no Molly Meldrum.