The internet history of the so called “white Jihadi” Jake Bilardi have revealed the Australian teenager planned a series of bombing and knifing attacks aimed at Melbourne cafes, the Internet Movie Data Base and all those guys at school who play footy and that and don’t know shit about what’s really going on in the world.

“The Australian public will feel my wrath for the crimes perpetrated against my Islamic brothers”, posted Bilardi in the comments section of the IMDB page for The Dark Knight. “Plus the casting of Ben Affleck as the new Batman must be smote from the pages of history.”

“Gee, if I’d known Jake had connections to radical Islam I’d have spent a lot less time flushing his head in the school toilets”, admitted school bully and one of those tough guys who always sits up the back of the bus Scott Cater. “Perhaps I should have spent more time discussing whether proper democratic reforms should be encouraged in the Middle East and less time calling him a big girlie faggot for having long hair and always wearing that My Chemical Romance shirt.”

Extra security guards have been posted to watch over Christopher Nolan’s IMDB page and that cafe where all the cool kids from year eleven like to hang out.

Peter Green
www.twitter.com/Greeny_Peter
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Categories: World