A man who posted thousands of YouTube videos of himself doing acrobatic parkour stunts at major world landmarks back in 2010 was seen painfully trying to get his walking frame past a slight rise in the footpath yesterday.

“HURTS… EVERYTHING HURTS,” screamed twenty seven year old former internet sensation Jacques Le Fivier when we caught up with him attempting a short trip to the shops to buy some milk. “Ouch… ow… oweee… ow-wow-wow-wow-wow…owwww.”

“Jacques has the level of knee cartilage of the typical 189 year old,” said orthopedic surgeon Henri Menisque. “I’d like to give him some treatment to relieve his pain but he only offers to pay me in Facebook likes from his old videos and I’m afraid they are not legal tender.”

“I used to laugh at the poor souls who were not free spirited imps like me,” lamented Le Fivier between anguished groans. “Now it hurts when I try to laugh because of that time I crushed my hyoid bone attempting to get from one side of the Luxor temple complex to the other without touching the ground.”

Peter Green

@Greeny_peter

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