Despite being Boris Johnson, Boris Johnson has scaled to great heights that would be impossible for any human being who was Boris Johnson minus all the bits of Boris Johnson involving extreme, unearned privilege. Despite being an empty vessel of… Read More ›
World
Americans To Be Armed With Thoughts And Prayers Compliments Of The NRA
The National Rifle Association (NRA) has announced that it plans to provide every American citizen with enough ‘thoughts and prayers’ to help keep them safe during the next inevitable mass shooting. “We here at the NRA are listening to the… Read More ›
BREAKING: Leaked Aptitude Test For Next UK Ambassador To The US
With Sir Kim Darroch’s resignation as British Ambassador to the US, brought on by the leaking of emails in which he described President Trump as “clumsy and inept”, the next Prime Minister of the UK will need to appoint a… Read More ›
Didgeridoo Finds Permanent Home In Rear Of Danish Garage
After being carefully nurtured through a nine month tour of Australia in a tube of bubble wrap, a didgeridoo has at last been settled into its final resting place up the back of some garage in Copenhagen. “Nothing says I’m… Read More ›
George Pell Organising Jailhouse Talent Show Fundraiser For Notre Dame Rebuild
Disgraced Cardinal and Sky News’ favourite martyr George Pell has started working on organising a jailhouse talent show that he hopes will raise enough funds to help with the rebuild of the recently destroyed Notre Dame cathedral. “I am very… Read More ›
Aussie Teen Seeks Asylum In Saudi Arabia After Being Forced To Do The Washing Up
A sixteen year old Australian teenager is seeking political asylum in Saudi Arabia after claiming that her family have forced her to do the washing up, forbidden her from looking at her mobile phone at the dinner table, and made… Read More ›